If you’ve ever looked around a room and thought, Who do I think I am to be here? — you’re not alone.

Self-doubt has a funny way of sneaking in, even for women who appear confident on the outside.

In this week’s episode of Penny for Your Shots: Conversations & Cocktails with Brilliant Women, I had the pleasure of sitting down with keynote speaker, author, and confidence coach Simone Knego. And what unfolded was one of those conversations that makes you pause and think differently about the stories you’ve been telling yourself.

Because confidence, as Simone reminds us, isn’t something you’re born with.

It’s something you build.

Leadership Doesn’t Require a Title

One of Simone’s favorite ideas is something she calls “kitchen table leadership.”

For many women, leadership has been framed as something that happens in boardrooms or corner offices. But Simone sees it differently.

Leadership happens in the everyday decisions women make—often around the kitchen table. Organizing a household. Raising children. Navigating hard conversations. Supporting others.

These are leadership decisions.

But because no one has historically labeled them that way, many women don’t recognize their own strength.

The truth is, women have been leading all along.

Confidence Is a Skill

Simone’s upcoming book centers around her REAL Confidence Method, which breaks confidence down into four simple principles:

R — Respect yourself
Learning to set boundaries, say no without guilt, and prioritize your own well-being.

E — Embrace your failures
Failure isn’t a stop sign—it’s information. It’s feedback. It’s data.

A — Ask yourself what you want
A surprisingly difficult question for many women who have spent years taking care of everyone else.

L — Live without limits
Which includes dropping one word that women use far too often: just.

As in:
“I’m just a stay-at-home mom.”
“I’m just helping out.”
“I’m just volunteering.”

That one tiny word quietly minimizes everything women do.

And Simone encourages women to drop it completely.

The Story in Your Head Matters

We all have an inner voice that pops up at inconvenient moments.

Simone calls hers the “What-If Whisperer.”

The voice that asks questions like:

What if you fail?
What if you embarrass yourself?
What if you’re not good enough?

Instead of letting that voice take over, Simone uses a simple mindset reset she calls Control-Alt-Delete.

Just like rebooting a frozen computer, the process helps interrupt negative thinking:

Control: Become aware of the thought and question whether it’s actually true.
Alt: Tell yourself a different story—one that’s supportive rather than limiting.
Delete: Let go of the beliefs, habits, or comparisons that aren’t serving you.

It’s simple. But powerful.

Because the way we talk to ourselves shapes what we believe we’re capable of.

Changing How You See Yourself

One of Simone’s most transformative experiences came when she climbed Mount Kilimanjaro.

Not because she was a climber (she’ll be the first to tell you she wasn’t).

But because it forced her to challenge the way she saw herself.

That’s the real work of confidence.

Not changing who you are.

Changing how you see yourself.

A Small World (and a Future Wine Date)

At the end of our conversation, we discovered something funny.

Simone and I both live in Sarasota.

So yes… a real-life wine date may very well be happening.

And honestly, that feels like the perfect ending to a conversation about confidence, courage, and the stories we choose to believe.

Because sometimes the best mindset reset starts with a great conversation—and a good glass of wine.

Simone's book: https://realconfidencebook.com/ 

To learn more about and connect with Simone: https://simoneknego.com/