Why Clarity, Confidence, & Calling Hit Different in Midlife

There’s a moment many women hit somewhere between 45 and “I’ve lost count.”
It usually sounds like this:

Is this really it?
I’ve taken care of everyone… now what about me?
I know there’s more, but I can’t quite see the next step.

If you’ve felt that—whether in a whisper or a full-body nudge—you’re in good company. And this week’s conversation with coach Chanda Coston is such a beautiful reminder that midlife isn’t too late. It’s right on time.

Chanda and I are cut from the same cloth: we both support women who’ve spent decades showing up for everyone else, only to realize they’ve quietly moved themselves to the bottom of their own priority list. And we both believe the same foundational thing:

Your lived experience is not a liability. It’s your qualification.

The Third-Quarter Awakening

Chanda calls herself the “Third Quarter Coach”—and I adore that. Because the third quarter of life is when women start to wake up to what’s been simmering under the surface for years.

The patterns.
The longings.
The exhaustion from stretching ourselves into versions of who everyone else needed.

For Chanda, that awakening came through a combination of grief, transition, and unexpected solitude. After moving states to care for her mother’s family, she found herself an empty nester for the first time—kids gone, grandkids far away, friends in another state. Just her, her dog, and the quiet.

That quiet cracked something open.

With no one left to put first, she had to learn how to care for herself. How to listen to her own voice. How to build a vision for what she wanted next.

And isn’t that the story for so many of us?

We push, we pivot, we carry, we hold. And then life hands us a moment—a heartbreak, a move, a loss, a transition—that forces us to ask the question we’ve avoided:

If I finally chose myself, what would that look like?

Grief, Purpose, and the Paths We Don’t Expect

A significant part of Chanda’s story is the heartbreaking loss of her brother to gun violence—a loss that forever changed their family. In her grief, she channeled her pain into impact, launching The HEB Foundation (Healing, Evolving & Building) to serve families in need. The foundation has since provided coats, meals, holiday support, and resources to thousands of people.

Her story is a powerful reminder that purpose often grows out of the hardest chapters of our lives. And that the work we’re meant to do—the work that truly matters—almost never comes from ease.

If you’d like to support the foundation’s Holiday initiatives, you can do that here: thehebfoundation.org/events.

Reinvention Isn’t About Starting Over

One thing I say often is this:
You’re not starting over.
You’re starting from experience.

Women 45+ carry decades of skills, instincts, resilience, and relational wisdom. The problem isn’t that we’re unqualified—it’s that we’ve been conditioned to diminish what we know.

We’re the first to cheer on our girlfriends… but the last to tell ourselves the truth about our own brilliance.

This is exactly why coaching matters. Because someone outside your head can see what you’re too close to recognize.

As Chanda and I talked, I kept hearing the same themes I see in my Serving Superstars clients:

• “I’m overwhelmed.”
• “I don’t have time.”
• “I don’t know where to start.”
• “I’ve been putting myself last for so long.”

And almost always, once we create clarity, the overwhelm dissolves.
Once we shift the internal narrative, the confidence rises.
Once we set simple systems, the business becomes doable.

These women aren’t confused.
They’re exhausted from carrying too much alone.

The Quiet Permission Slip You Might Need Today

If you’re feeling the tug toward something more—something deeper, more aligned, more you—consider this your permission slip:

It’s not too late to choose a life that fits.
It’s not too late to build something meaningful.
It’s not too late to take the next small step.

Chanda and I both work with women who are ready to explore those steps. Women who know they’re being called forward… but aren’t quite sure how to build the bridge between where they are and where they want to be.

If that’s you—and if you’d like support mapping out your next chapter—I’d love to talk about what that could look like.
You can book a call here: pennyforyourshots.com/call

You don’t have to walk your reinvention alone.
In fact, you weren’t built to.

And sometimes all it takes is one conversation to change the whole trajectory.