Women are very good at taking care of people. We take care of our families, our coworkers, our clients, our homes, and all the little things that somehow become our responsibility. We keep putting one foot in front of the other because that’s what needs to be done, and somewhere along the way, the things that fill our own cups get pushed further and further down the list. 

We tell ourselves we’re fine. We can handle it. We can multitask. But as Cass UK and I discussed in this week’s conversation, continuing to function isn’t the same as feeling good. And taking care of ourselves isn’t selfish. It’s survival.

Cass began her career as a nurse and eventually created Tolicious, a wellness company centered around helping people care for themselves more holistically. She built the company while continuing to work in nursing because, like so many women, she was reluctant to walk away from a reliable income and trust that the business she was creating could support her.

Then Cass experienced a traumatic delivery in which she nearly lost both her own life and her baby’s. That experience became a turning point. She realized life was too short to stay in a job that made her unhappy or to keep treating her own dreams as something she might pursue someday.

Of course, I hope none of us needs a crisis to decide that we’re worth the risk. Staying where we are can feel like the safe choice, but staying in a life that no longer fits us carries its own risks. When that little voice keeps reminding you about the book you wanted to write, the business you wanted to start, the trip you wanted to take, or the class you always wished you could try, it may be time to listen.

One of the things Cass sees when she mentors women is that many of us don’t recognize the value of what we already know. We think we need another qualification before we can help someone, start a business, or call ourselves an expert. Meanwhile, we’ve accumulated decades of professional experience, life experience, organizational skills, problem-solving abilities, and wisdom that could make a meaningful difference for someone else.

Even when we recognize those skills, imposter syndrome often shows up the moment an opportunity begins to feel real. Cass shared that confidence doesn’t mean she never feels nervous. Sometimes she’s shaking... and she does the thing anyway. Courage doesn’t always arrive before we take action. Sometimes it finds us because we took the first step.

We also talked about something women have historically struggled to do: ask for help. Cass was able to continue running her business following the birth of her son because her husband, mother-in-law, and parents stepped in to support her. She doesn’t pretend she accomplished everything alone, and none of us should feel as though doing it all alone is the goal.

Sometimes we need practical help. Sometimes we need a mentor who can help us recognize the skills and possibilities we can’t see for ourselves. And sometimes we simply need a girlfriend to remind us, “You can do this.”

It is never too late to choose yourself, take better care of yourself, or begin the next chapter. You don’t need to wait until you’re completely exhausted, deeply unhappy, or facing a crisis. You are allowed to want more now. And you are worth the care, support, and courage it takes to go after it.

Connect with Cass at cassukonline.com or find her on LinkedIn. Her book, The Delicious Way, is also available on Amazon.