When Your BS Meter Gets Better With Age

There’s a moment many women reach—usually sometime in midlife—when things just start to click.

The stories don’t quite add up anymore. The excuses feel thinner. And that little voice inside you? She’s no longer whispering. She’s clearing her throat and asking you to pay attention.

It’s not that you’ve become cynical. It’s that you’ve become experienced.

After decades of relationships, careers, friendships, and life lessons, your internal BS meter gets remarkably well tuned. You’ve lived enough life to recognize patterns, trust your instincts, and stop questioning yourself the way you once did.

And honestly? That clarity is earned.

Wisdom Comes From Lived Experience

In a recent episode of Penny for Your Shots, I sat down with therapist Gina Haras to talk about discernment, self-trust, and why so many smart, empathetic women once explained away things that now feel glaringly obvious.

What stood out most in our conversation wasn’t fear or regret—it was wisdom.

So many women look back at earlier relationships or seasons of life and think, “How did I not see that?” But that question misses the point. You didn’t see it then because you didn’t have the experience you have now.

Growth changes your perspective. Healing sharpens your intuition. And maturity gives you permission to trust what your body and gut have been trying to tell you all along.

The Shift From Self-Doubt to Self-Trust

One of the biggest changes that comes with age is this: we stop automatically assuming we’re wrong.

When we’re younger, many of us are conditioned to be accommodating, empathetic, and endlessly understanding. We explain. We justify. We give the benefit of the doubt—even when our nervous system is quietly waving a red flag.

With time, something shifts.

You start noticing when interactions leave you feeling drained, confused, or unsettled. You recognize when words and actions don’t line up. And instead of turning inward with self-blame, you pause and think, “This doesn’t feel right. And that matters.”

That’s not bitterness. That’s discernment.

Clarity Doesn’t Make You Hard—It Makes You Honest

There’s a myth that becoming more discerning makes women cold or closed off. In reality, it does the opposite.

When you trust yourself, you stop overextending. You stop chasing clarity from other people. You stop tolerating behavior that costs you your peace.

And in doing so, you create space for healthier relationships—romantic or otherwise. Ones rooted in mutual respect, emotional safety, and honesty.

As Gina shared in our conversation, many women she works with aren’t broken or naive. They’re generous. They’re empathetic. They’re deeply capable of love. What they’re learning is how to pair that empathy with boundaries—and how to choose relationships that feel steady instead of confusing.

You’re Not Late—You’re Right on Time

If there’s one thing I hope you take away from this conversation, it’s this:

You’re not behind. You’re not “too much.” And you didn’t miss some invisible memo everyone else got.

You’re simply wiser now.

And that wisdom—your ability to read situations clearly, trust your intuition, and walk away from what no longer serves you—is one of your greatest strengths.

So if your BS meter feels sharper than it used to, good. That’s growth. That’s self-respect. And that’s you honoring everything you’ve learned along the way.

About Gina Haras

Gina Haras is a licensed therapist and founder of Luna Clinic. She works with women worldwide through online sessions, helping them gain clarity, confidence, and healthier relationship patterns.

You can connect with Gina on LinkedIn here:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/gina-haras-5b8707229/

If this conversation resonated, I invite you to listen to the full episode of Penny for Your Shots—and raise a glass to the clarity that comes with age.