Have you ever stared at something you genuinely wanted to accomplish and wondered why you simply couldn’t make yourself begin?

You know the phone call needs to be made. You know the website needs to be updated. You know you want to start the business, write the book, create the program, organize the room, or finally follow that idea that has been tapping you on the shoulder for years.

You may even know exactly how to do it. And yet… you remain stuck.

That experience can be incredibly frustrating, especially for smart, capable women who are accustomed to getting things done. We start asking ourselves what is wrong with us. We assume we need more discipline, a better planner, a stricter routine, or one more productivity system.

But what if the problem isn’t that we don’t know what to do? What if our brains and bodies simply don’t feel ready - or safe enough - to begin?

When Getting Started Feels Harder Than It Should

In my conversation with ADHD coach and EFT tapping practitioner Barb Hubbard, we talked about the struggles women often experience with focus, motivation, prioritization, and getting started.

These challenges are frequently connected to executive function—the mental processes that help us organize, plan, decide what matters most, and break a larger task into manageable steps.

But here's an important reminder: experiencing these difficulties does not automatically mean someone has ADHD.

Perimenopause, sleep deprivation, chronic stress, and some illnesses can create very similar symptoms. For a woman who suddenly begins experiencing brain fog, overwhelm, or difficulty focusing in midlife, hormones may be part of the conversation.

Barb does not diagnose ADHD. That belongs with a qualified medical professional. Her role is to support women who have been diagnosed, or who simply recognize that the typical advice about focus and productivity does not seem to work for them.

And honestly, many of the strategies that help an ADHD brain can also support any woman who feels overwhelmed and doesn’t know where to start.

Procrastination Isn’t Always About Time

We often explain procrastination by saying we are too busy. Our list is too long. The day got away from us. We ran out of time. Sometimes that is true. But procrastination is frequently connected to emotion.

Perhaps we are afraid of doing the task badly. Maybe we feel overwhelmed by everything involved. We may be worried about what will happen after we finish, or what it will mean if the thing we create does not match the beautiful vision in our heads.

The task keeps growing while we avoid it. Before long, something that may require only a couple of hours feels enormous.

Barb shared the story of a photographer who had been avoiding updates to her website. The woman knew what needed to change and understood the technology, but she still couldn’t bring herself to sit down and do it.

After a tapping session with Barb, she completed the task within two hours.

That does not mean every delayed project disappears after one tapping session. But it is a beautiful example of what can happen when we address the emotion surrounding a task instead of continuing to shame ourselves for not doing it.

What Is EFT Tapping?

EFT stands for Emotional Freedom Techniques.

Tapping involves gently using the fingertips on specific acupressure points, primarily around the face and upper body. The practice draws from ideas connected to traditional Chinese medicine and is often used to help the body relax and regulate its stress response.

Barb describes tapping at its most basic level as a way to calm the nervous system.

When we are overwhelmed, frightened, angry, or frozen, our brains may move into a fight-or-flight response. In that state, it becomes much harder to think clearly, weigh our options, prioritize, or solve problems. We cannot always reason our way out of a response happening inside the body.

Tapping gives us something physical to do. It can help us pause, reconnect with the present moment, and create enough calm for our thinking brain to come back online.

Barb uses EFT tapping in more individualized ways with her clients, especially when a struggle is connected to deeper emotions or long-held limiting beliefs. But she also encourages people to experiment with simple tapping for everyday stress.

You don’t need to count each tap perfectly. You don’t have to use both hands. You don’t need to worry about whether your eyes should be open or closed. You do not need to perform it perfectly for it to be worth trying. 

For the overthinkers among us, that may be the most helpful reminder of all.

You Don’t Have to Be Perfectly Consistent

 Barb said that the most successful people she knows are not necessarily consistent. They simply know how to restart. That's so true... Resilience is a beautiful thing.

How many times have we missed one day and decided we ruined the entire plan? We miss a workout, stop journaling, forget to meditate, or lose momentum on a project, and suddenly we act as though we have to return all the way to the beginning.

We don’t. We can start again today. We can tap (or meditate) for five minutes even if we haven’t done it for two weeks. We can make the phone call, open the document, take the walk, or ask a friend for help. Consistency can be helpful, but perfection is not required.

Create Your Own “Come Back to Me” List

Barb suggested creating a simple list of things that help us come back to ourselves when we are overwhelmed.

Her list might include:

• Tapping
• Taking a few deep breaths
• Going for a walk
• Calling a friend
• Taking a shower
• Listening to a meditation

The important part is making the list before you need it. When our brains are flooded, the tools we know could help us are often the very things we cannot remember.

Keep your list on your desk, bathroom mirror, or phone. When you notice yourself spiraling, freezing, or becoming overwhelmed, choose one thing. Not all of them. Just one.

Action Creates Clarity

I have said for years that action creates clarity; and clarity creates confidence. Barb’s work reinforces that.

Sometimes the first action is not tackling the entire project. Sometimes it is calming our nervous system enough to identify what the first step actually is. 

The dream that keeps tapping you on the shoulder does not need to be completed today. It simply needs somewhere to begin. And perhaps the most loving thing we can do for ourselves is stop assuming that being stuck means we are lazy, incapable, or not meant to do it.

Pause. Take a breath. Give yourself some grace. Then begin again.

Connect with Barb Hubbard

Learn more about Barb’s ADHD coaching, EFT tapping, and free tapping resources at https://barbhubbardcoaching.com.

You can also connect with Barb on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/barbhubbard/